Can a Celeb Crush can Improve Your Relationship?

Sharing your celebrity crush list with your partner might be the best thing you do for your relationship. How would you feel if your partner told you they wanted to sleep with a celebrity? Would you be hurt, angry - or understanding? According to a survey undertaken by HushHush.com, most couples have mental lists of famous personalities that they're "allowed" to sleep with - and David Beckham and Megan Fox top the lists for women and men respectively.

I learned about "the list" after watching the famous episode of friends where Ross creates a laminated top five, switching Isabella Rosselini for Winona Ryder (because she's "local"). Ross is then heartbroken when Isabella Rosselini shows up in Central Perk. But if she'd stayed on the list, would Ross have made a move? And would Rachel have been OK with it? 

Almost everyone has a few celebrity crushes, but whether you tell your partner about them is up to you. However, I believe that opening up about the desires that don't involve your partner can enhance your relationship. Even if we think the person we're with is perfect, occasionally we will wonder what it's like to be with someone else. It's a natural, human curiosity. If you bottle up those feelings and ignore them, they're likely to grow and become damaging. If you decide to keep something inside to protect your partner, you could end up resenting them for curbing your freedom - and when we feel trapped, we're most likely to hurt the people we love.

It might sound strange, but sharing your "list" with a partner can help you bond and bring you closer together. As long as you show them that you're still very attracted to them, your fantasies shouldn't alienate your partner - but they might strengthen your connection because you've shared an intimate secret.

Celebrity crush lists don't exist in isolation. If you tell your partner about the famous people you fancy, they're bound to have a few names of their own. But this is the sort of trade off that stops the power balance from tipping over. If you have been taking your partner for granted, it might be a shock to learn that sometimes they think about kissing Megan Fox. But it also reminds you that other people will, and do, find them attractive, and it's important to make them feel appreciated.

Obviously, unless you're Ross Geller, it's unlikely that you'll ever be in a position to make a move on any of the stars you have listed. Celebrities are the ideal people to fantasise about, because they're always going to be at a safe distance. It's not just that they're unlikely to move next door to you or turn up at your workplace - but their lifestyles are difficult to relate to. You might dream of a night of passion with Robert Pattinson, but it's difficult to imagine sustaining a relationship with him. And Hollywood lifestyles can be just as seductive as the people living them. So if you and your significant other are both lusting for stars who regularly get spotted on the West Coast, it could be a sign that you're not looking for a new partner so much as a change of scenery.

Anything that stimulates discussion between you and your partner has to be a good thing. Celebrity lists are a playful way of keeping lines of communication open, and letting you share your secrets with each other whilst respecting the boundaries of a relationship. I think "who's on your list?" is always a question worth asking - you'll definitely learn from the answers.