THE DIARY OF A PLAYER WIFE

Dear reader,

I'm writing this with deep emotions that seem to want to tear my heart muscles apart. Sitting all alone in the darkness of my odyssey, my arms are heavy and tears have not ceased to flow. I just returned from seeing my doctor, where he gave me what seemed like a death sentence.

Eight years ago, I was a single lady trying to catch all the fun there was in this world. I was dating several guys, doing drugs, clubbing, drinking to mention but a few. Don't judge me, I'm sure you can relate to this. Sexual expeditions were a common thing. I particularly remember one night, when I took on two guys in two different houses. 

Of course, neither of them was aware. That was the night that changed everything as I became pregnant, but for who? I couldn't tell. Niran and Shola, the two guys who satisfied my sexual urge that night were two very different people. Niran was an angry man, very violent whenever he got angry. He once pushed me against his car for telling him that he had no respect for women and that I wondered if that was how he treated his mother. He could be nice, really nice, but he had some anger management issues. Ironically, i seemed to like him more. On the other hand, Shola was gentle, too-caring. Too-caring to a fault. Oh please, I didn't need another baby-sitter in my life.

When I got to know that I had become pregnant, I accused Niran of being responsible. After a few arguments, he accepted the responsibility. We got married 7years ago, and have lived together with this child till now. Seven years down the road, this child has grown and has looked more and more like, no, not his father, but Shola! Oh my Gosh! What have I done? Surely, Shola is his dad. Five months ago, Niran, my husband, informed me that he had entered into business partnership with this guy called Shola and that he had invited him over for dinner. My heart skipped a beat. Could it be my Shola?

At dinner, I frequented the bathroom, as I couldn't bear Shola sit just across the table. He laughed with my husband who seemed to like him very much. At that time, my son walked in from our neighbour's, and the look on Shola's face changed. He stared continuously like he had seen a beautiful damsel. After what seemed like forever, he stood up, excused himself, and that ended dinner. I convinced my husband that our son must have reminded Shola of someone he lost.
 
Two months ago, my husband travelled out of the country. It was going to be a long stay. Shola visited me very often, making threats to take his son away from me. Then one of those days, Shola walked into my house, we began talking about good old days, I got really emotional, and then we started making out. Before I caught control of myself, we were done, yes, we had sex. How sad!

Shola still wants his baby back; he's threatening to talk to my husband. I went to see the doctor today, and he said, I'm two months gone. My husband is going to return from his trip, really soon and I have a baby in my womb and a seven year old in my hand that don't belong to him.
 
Dear reader, I’ll see you in the other life, and I’m sure you'll judge me and tell me how stupid I was. I hear God will punish me in eternity, but I wish that He would give me the strength to face Niran. Niran is a mad dog, he'll kill me. Tell my son that I love him very much, but please don't tell him the kind of coward that I was.

Yours in despair
Bisi