I recently came across an article written by a
lovely lady Mrs Heather Lindsey. Heather is a Christian who teaches young women
about relationships and real love that comes from Christ. She also has a blog
and I would suggest you check it out. I've been blessed my some of the messages
I've read. The link to her site is at the bottom of this article. This piece is
a must read for all the single ladies. Enjoy xx
So, I've seen so many worldly blogs and articles on
this subject, I figured I would clear it all up and talk to you like your
sister in Christ.
Maybe you're single, or dating someone and you want to get married. But homeboy is taking forever. Your girlfriend probably told you that you need to give a certain "look", flirt around, "put yourself out there", go online & date or whatever else. WHY he won't marry you is for so many reasons, including your PROTECTION.
So, let's jump right into this.
Maybe you're single, or dating someone and you want to get married. But homeboy is taking forever. Your girlfriend probably told you that you need to give a certain "look", flirt around, "put yourself out there", go online & date or whatever else. WHY he won't marry you is for so many reasons, including your PROTECTION.
So, let's jump right into this.
1. He's not 100% sold on you. For him, there may be a ton of other fishes in the sea and he's not
totally sold on you. So he'll drag you along forever without giving you a ring
and telling you that you need to be "this" or "that" before
he marries you. It's all based in some stupid condition. Let’s all be clear--
you can lose everything 2 days after you get married so it can't be based on
some material or condition. Marriage is supposed to last forever.
2. The non-committed. This non-committer knows that he's a "good" catch so
he's not going to totally commit to you because as his career, degree or
whatever else grows he needs to make sure that you're good enough to go where
he's going (or good arm-candy). This is sad again-- and based on a ton of
conditions. If he doesn't see the amazing in you, help his way to the door
& wave goodbye.
3. Free milk. Are you giving them'
goodies up? WHY would he run & marry you if you are giving him all your
goodies, playing house, sleeping with him as you cook, clean and do his
laundry. I mean why would he need to get a marriage license when you do all of
those things with your maiden name?
4. God's timing. Well, you weren't
supposed to wake "up" this Adam-- and he's a random. God is really
closing this door. You're sad, trying to MAKE it work and everything else. But
it just is NOT working and you wished that it would. You try to do everything
he wants you to do & please him but no matter what, God still closes
your little relationship door.
5. The Visionary. This guy wants his career
100% together, and all of his ducks totally in LINE before he thinks about
marriage and a family. He doesn't want to take on the responsibility of YOU if
he feels like his career hasn't jumped off. My question to him would be..
"WHO IS YOUR SOURCE?!" If you know that you're supposed to be
together, been courting for a while. Stop waiting for money to come in to help
your decision. PAINT your picture together. Again, what happens if you lose
your job as soon as you get back from the honeymoon? So you waited FOREVER,
played around, rubbed, touched, dishonoured God while dating. Finally got the
job. Got married and lost it all. It's WORLDLY. That whole mind-set is of the
WORLD. We are to be led by GOD daily so if God showed you your girl, marry her
already & figure it out & grow together.
6. Sorta-Christian. This man isn't totally sold on God & sure isn't being led
by Him. I'm not even sure why you would wanna marry this fool but I have to put
this in. This guy doesn't understand the marriage between Christ & His
Church or "dying" to yourself so he's selfish. He says, “I ain’t
ready to get married", goes to the club, looks at women's behinds every
time they walk by. This guy is carnal and is vocal about not wanting to marry
you. Please, let him go already.
7. The Married Man. Yup, Had to put this one in-- he may not marry you because he is
STILL legally married to his WIFE. This man is on the rebound &
searching for someone to affirm him again and get what he couldn't get from his
wife. He could be going back & forth with his first wife, messing with
the both of her you. If you wanna date this man, he needs some time to himself
after the divorce to get whole. Don't be his little void-filler. #Period#
8. Flirt. The flirt won't marry
you because he craves the attention of so many other women. Just getting it
from you would be boring. So, he'll end up married at about 40 or 50 because by
then it will get old. He likes the idea of communicating to you with no
commitment & pretending like something will be there that never will
be.
9. The Baby-Daddy. Homeboy has like 5 kids by 5 different baby mamas. I'm not
clear on why you think he'll marry you but he didn't marry
them? Please. Move on.
10. The Liar. This man wouldn't marry
you because he's so busy lying to you & everyone else while holding a
secret life as a down-low brother, with other women, at strip clubs while up in
the church, Praising the Lord. He's torn with his life and cannot figure out
how to really give his whole heart to Christ so he lives this lie. He is
not confident in leading you because he doesn't believe he's really led by God.
So, how do we avoid the above? WHEN we spend TIME
with God daily, HE shows us the hearts of ALL men (including YOURSELF &
where YOU need to change). The thing is, we have to start LISTENING to when GOD
is leading & guiding our lives!! At some point, we have to start doing
OUR part. Let's start now. Cut off any of the above. Get quiet
before God & whole. You don't wanna marry the above; you want
to marry God's best for YOU. Sometimes, we stick around, hoping that
they will change. Don't marry an expectation that you can change someone
because you cannot. THEY have to want to change & you may wait a
lifetime for that to happen.
Praying for you.
God loves you like crazy,
Heather Lindsey
http://heatherllindsey.blogspot.com
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